Giver or Taker?

Although my wife and kids state that I am a giver, I think I have a long way to go. We live in a culture that promotes selfishness with slogans like “have it your way” and “obey your thirst”. Our ability to delay gratification is very skewed. I asked a group of youth if they would prefer to have a microwaved steak for lunch or wait and have a slow smoked/cooked steak for dinner. All 24 stated that they would go ahead and have it for lunch. We are teaching today’s youth to be takers and not givers. The average attention span continues to decrease. “Relationships get in trouble when the people in those relationships focus more on what they can take than what they can give” (Dr. Zimmerman). Being a giver allows us to refocus our attention on others and often gives people a renewed perspective. This is similar to the concept of emotional banking. This is the idea that a person invests in the other person in the relationship and builds up a reserve that can then be withdrawn from later (social exchange theory). The nature of the counseling profession is to give and to invest in relationships in a professional manner. Of particular interest is Dr. Zimmerman’s concept of providing lasting care. I hope that when I counsel, clients walk away being empowered to have lasting care.