At The Core Of Our Thinking Are Dysfunctional Beliefs!

This morning my wife returned to the bedroom and said "Are you getting up this morning?", to which I promptly replied "No!". Well, I did eventually get up, but I sure didn't feel like I had the strength to get through what I knew was going to be a long day, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know how important it is to control my thoughts and not let emotion run my life but I sure didn't feel like going through the day. How was I going to get the strength needed? How do you lay aside your own weariness despite how you feel? I know that thoughts are important, but how do I change what I'm thinking as I start the day? At the core of our thinking is dysfunctional beliefs. Today started with a belief that I must have the strength to get through a tough day. Reality: my puny self doesn't have the strength even if I mustered all the positive thinking I could. I'm just not big enough, wise enough, strong enough, mentally tough enough, had enough experiences, or any other variable I can think of. Even if I could hire the best physical trainers, motivational experts, or psychologists, I still would not have enough resources at my disposal to accomplish all that I was created to accomplish or have the endurance and patience needed to get through tough days. This morning my beliefs were improperly grounded - in me. Collosians (see below) tells us that we are stregthened "according to His glorious might" - now that's endless resources! In Ephesians 3:16 Paul prays that we might be stregthened "out of His glorious might"! God has resources and depth that I cannot fathom. So, in order to make it through life I need to align my beliefs with Him = Truth. Then and only then will the resources be available to me to make it through tough days with joyfullness. So this morning when I didn't want to get up I needed to align my weariness with strength from "His glorious might" not mine!

Collosians 1:11-12
11being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Think About Such Things

My boss started me down this road because he heard these figures... So I did the math myself in order to see what it worked out to. According to U.C. Berkely, the average American watches 170 mintues of TV per day. My boss heard a comparison to the amount of TV watch and time spent in church by the time one reaches age 65. So here is what this figures out to be...

At age 65 = 7.65 YEARS spent watching TV.
At age 65 = 1.5 years (IF you spend 4 hours per week) in Church.

That is a difference of 6 years with our minds filled with junk. In light of my recent focus on the importance of our mind as the battle ground with the enemy, this is a critical difference. Unfortunately, too many of us expect that we will learn what we need to from Church but obviously we don't spend enough time there to combat other influences. The real answer then lies in studying for ourselves! So what's your mind on today?

Eph 4:8-9
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

The Truth will set you free.

Expanding on the Sept. 30th post about the difference between the heart and the head, I'd like to briefly look at John 8:32, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free". I hear this verse quoted often and I like this verse and it's implications about the difference between our heart and head. For Christians, if our heart is good as a result of the price paid (it's the dwelling place of God and He can only dwell in a place that is all good) - as John Eldredge explains in his book (see previous posts). Notice that John 8:32 starts with "then", which means that there is more context to this verse. Looking back one verse provides the answer, "Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.'" So what does this mean. Remeber this is a matter of our head but simplying having the knowledge in our head is not enough. God expects obedience to His word - the Truth. Now the danger is one of thinking that somehow we earn something through our obedience or good behavior. The truth, however, however remains that Jesus says that if we hold to his teaching then we will know the truth and freedom will come. Definitely something worth chewing on...

Doubt or Honesty or Both?

We have been studying Gideon recently and I thought I'd share a few insights gained from a discussion with our small group. The question was raised about the fleeces and signs that Gideon needed (or wanted) before carrying out God's plan. As we discussed, a few things became apparent. First, attitude is critical. There is a difference between people who flippantly or in an "prove it" attitude ask God to give them a sign and those, such as Gideon who do so out of honest disclosure of their doubts and fears. Thankfully, God is patient with our unbelief and our unnecessary requests. Afterall, the request, out of our doubts/fears/etc. are unnecessary once God has told us what to do, which was the case with Gideon. Second, Gideon had already begun to act on God's plan; he gathered people together for battle. This was done prior to his first request of a sign. So what does all this mean for me? When God speaks I need to begin working on His plan and feel free to be honest with Him about my lack of abilities, resources, fears, and doubts. Our loving father will be patient with us, especially if our attitude is correct and we have begun working. Thanks Lord for your patience with me and help me in my unbelief.

Parenting is Tough

Last week my staff was working with a 14 year old male who had been in inpatient alcohol and drug treatment for about one week. During that initial week he was "throwing fits" claiming that he was going to convince his mother to take him out of the program. By the way his "fits" were major - picking on other kids, total noncompliance, and threatening behavior. I bring this up for one reason - to educate parents. The issue for this youth is that his mom had spent years allowing him to have his way when she couldn't handle the "fit" anymore. After a full day of working with the youth, the parent came to campus against recommendation BUT eventually decided that she was going to leave him in the program. Amazingly, five minutes later (and it was literally that short) he looked at our staff and said, "Well, I guess I'll work the program"! Two weeks later, he has had additional visits with his mother and still says he is going to "make her proud". So, what's the lesson for us (I include me!) as parents. Parenting is difficult and giving in to fits because we're uncomfortable, emabarrassed, etc. creates a child who does not take responsibility. Parents, be parents even when it's tought!

An Ethical Aspect of Multicultural Practice

The word “values” appears 12 times in the ACA Code of Ethics (2005) and “belief” appears twice. I believe values/beliefs pay a more crucial role than ACA and/or Universities give credit or time to. Furthermore, not only due cultures vary in beliefs but so do subcultures nationally, regionally, communities, and families. Afterall, as a client seeks counseling they are seeking the values of the Counselor under the assumption that the Counselor’s values are beneficial to healthy functioning. Unfortunately, at least in my opinion, too often the Counselor does not even disclose their World View to the client, leaving the client unaware and an unsuspecting “victim” in the process.

The first issue and probably the most discussed is one of exposing versus imposing. While most standards agree that it is appropriate to disclose values but not impose values, this may be an incomplete evaluation. First, many Counselors do not even go so far as to expose their values, leaving the client as an unsuspecting bystander of the biases of the Counselor. My Informed Consent documents states, “Christian Counseling is a unique service in that the values of the Counselor are revealed at the forefront.” This is not a statement of imposition but, rather, one of exposing my World View.

Second, some Counselors believe that by informing the client of their theoretical perspective they are informing the client of the values of the Counselor. Do Counselors really believe that clients understand the assumptions, biases, and weaknesses of a theoretical approach such as CBT? The second issue is one of imposing values. This is has been an oversimplified issue and “rule out”. At initial evaluation it appears to be a good idea to make sure that Counselors do not impose their values. However, is not the essence of counseling one of imposing values? After all, the Counselor is asked to help the client improve their life. If the client did not believe that the Counselor had some values that were beneficial to leading a healthy life they would not seek counseling in the first place.

The primary concern, then, becomes one of educating the client. The client needs to understand the World View of the Counselor. The education of the client needs to go well beyond identifying religious or spiritual values but, in my opinion, should include theoretical values explained in a manner that the client can understand.

The second is the inherent simplification of the issue of imposing values. If in fact, counseling by nature is a process of imposing values, then how is this controlled in such a manner as to protect the welfare of the client? Furthermore, as managed care and even legislation of federal/state programs move towards “evidenced based practices”, each of these researched practices is inherently based on a set of values and assumptions.

A final concern is the philosophical and practical debate regarding the differentiation between an “absolutist” World View and a “relativistic” World View. This issue creates an enormous bias in the approach and even in the implementation of the theory utilized by the Counselor. My bias is toward an absolute value system because to do otherwise would negate the use of any particular theoretical approach since the utilization would be subject to a variety of factors and therefore be impossible to evaluate (among other things, such as religious beliefs).

(This is a shortened version of a paper I submitted for class).